I've not written in months, simply because I've been too busy, the hectic but good kind of busy. A few months ago I was realizing how thankful I am for the things in my life (job, school, ministry, friends) but, I was not crediting the Lord in a lot of those things. Therefore I started praying that I would be made desperately dependent on Him and dang did He come through.
A reoccurring theme in my life is when I am striving to do things for the Kingdom, my health deteriorates. Satan knows how much I hate this, which is why he keeps using it against me, it is my Achilles heal. I wish I could say I've learned but, I'm basically a cry baby when it comes to my health. I am currently going through some health problems and yet again, I have reacted less then perfect. When I prayed to be made desperately dependent, I don't think my heart was in the right place. What I wanted was to be dependent, on my own terms. See that controlling little bit there at the end? What I forgot at the time was that I don't get to have terms in this life, especially when I am asking God for something. He is the one in control.
When I go through these difficult times, I often turn to Job. Job is described as a "blameless man of complete integrity," therefore Satan wants to attack the heck outta him and God lets him go, just short of taking his life (chapters 1 & 2). After Job (later in chapter 2) has lost LITERALLY everything, his loving wife tells him to "curse God and die," to which Job responds "You talk like a godless woman. Should we accept only good things from the hand of God and never anything bad?" The controlling and sinful side of me wants to be like "Uh yea Job, good things are good, and bad things are bad, duh." Luckily I am continually being molded by Christ and learning that when bad things happen, the Lord has allowed them, and he is bigger then them. This is something my head knows but my heart often forgets.
When suffering we need to cling to scripture. I believe that every form of suffering has a spiritual cause but if we submit ourselves to God, and resist the devil, he will flee from us (James 4:7). This is not a one time submission, but an every moment, constant, submission to God. This is not easy but, a life for Christ is not supposed to be easy (another truth I often forget). A good friend recently pointed me to scriptural truth for which I am very thankful (always good to have those kinds of friends during tough times). One in particular stood out to me; "Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all," 2 Corinthians 4:16-17. This is Paul writing to the Corinthians. Paul who was jailed and suffering for most of his life calling it all "light and momentary." If this isn't humbling, I don't know what is.
My hope is that when suffering, we would immediately turn to Jesus and His truth. But when we fail to do so (because we will) that we would not lose heart, but turn back and cling to Him, listening to his gentle whispers, while the storm rages around us (1 Kings 19:11-12).
Lord, I pray that we would run to You in our suffering and that You would have mercy on us for we are only dust. Lead us with grace and love and help us to follow in constant submission and dependence.
A reoccurring theme in my life is when I am striving to do things for the Kingdom, my health deteriorates. Satan knows how much I hate this, which is why he keeps using it against me, it is my Achilles heal. I wish I could say I've learned but, I'm basically a cry baby when it comes to my health. I am currently going through some health problems and yet again, I have reacted less then perfect. When I prayed to be made desperately dependent, I don't think my heart was in the right place. What I wanted was to be dependent, on my own terms. See that controlling little bit there at the end? What I forgot at the time was that I don't get to have terms in this life, especially when I am asking God for something. He is the one in control.
When I go through these difficult times, I often turn to Job. Job is described as a "blameless man of complete integrity," therefore Satan wants to attack the heck outta him and God lets him go, just short of taking his life (chapters 1 & 2). After Job (later in chapter 2) has lost LITERALLY everything, his loving wife tells him to "curse God and die," to which Job responds "You talk like a godless woman. Should we accept only good things from the hand of God and never anything bad?" The controlling and sinful side of me wants to be like "Uh yea Job, good things are good, and bad things are bad, duh." Luckily I am continually being molded by Christ and learning that when bad things happen, the Lord has allowed them, and he is bigger then them. This is something my head knows but my heart often forgets.
When suffering we need to cling to scripture. I believe that every form of suffering has a spiritual cause but if we submit ourselves to God, and resist the devil, he will flee from us (James 4:7). This is not a one time submission, but an every moment, constant, submission to God. This is not easy but, a life for Christ is not supposed to be easy (another truth I often forget). A good friend recently pointed me to scriptural truth for which I am very thankful (always good to have those kinds of friends during tough times). One in particular stood out to me; "Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all," 2 Corinthians 4:16-17. This is Paul writing to the Corinthians. Paul who was jailed and suffering for most of his life calling it all "light and momentary." If this isn't humbling, I don't know what is.
My hope is that when suffering, we would immediately turn to Jesus and His truth. But when we fail to do so (because we will) that we would not lose heart, but turn back and cling to Him, listening to his gentle whispers, while the storm rages around us (1 Kings 19:11-12).
Lord, I pray that we would run to You in our suffering and that You would have mercy on us for we are only dust. Lead us with grace and love and help us to follow in constant submission and dependence.